Crazy House LIfe
by elizcriminalminds4077
Summary: In Criminal Minds, its one big happy family as I see it. As some of you might know, they also fight crime against criminals, rapists, serial killers and many other crazy people in the world. Have you wondered what it would be like if the team were not on a case, not eating dinner, or getting into their personal lives? Well, there might be some things that are pretty awkward . . .
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own Criminal Minds!**

Rossi: Grandfather, age 63, 6'4

Hotch: Father, age 47, 6'7

Penelope: cousin, age 29, 6'0

Derek: older brother, age 33, 6'7

Prentiss: older sister, age 30, 5'7

Reid: younger brother, age 25, 5'2

J.J.: younger sister, age 27 5'3

"Dad we're home!" Reid and Penelope yelled as they walked into the apartment. Prentiss walked by and said to them, "Father is sleeping. He was doing paper work in his room then fell asleep." "Oh," Penelope replied as Reid started to go off onto a rant of pure genius . . . "Most adults now in days, only get six to eight hours of sleep because of how late they stay up for a long period of time while kids and teens who go to sleep for eight to ten hours, they-" "I think that's enough Reid," Their grandfather, Rossi, said to him. "Come on, I'll show you how to make clam chowder." He took Reid by the shoulder and led him into the kitchen. Penelope and Prentiss giggled.

Meanwhile in the training room, Derek and J.J. we're sparring against each other. J.J. launched a spinning front kick at Derek's head that he dodged easily. She brought her other leg down into an axe-kick and Derek blocked it with his hand and turned it into a grab at J.J.'s foot. He threw her and then regained her footing and launched herself again at Derek going a jumping side kick, landed on her feet and added a few jabs. He stepped aside, blocked the rapid punches, and did a front flip so he was behind his younger sister. He grabbed her bent arm and twisted it, did a side kick to bring J.J. to her knees. He got out a knife that he borrowed from the kitchen and got it at her neck, whispered into her ear, "Never turn your back with an opponent with a knife." She was in pain as her older brother brought her up to her feet.

In the bedroom of Hotch, the father, finally woke up when the buzzer started to go off. He hit the buzzer and yawned, stood up from the desk, stretched, while walking around. Hotch got dressed and looked at the pile of papers on the desk. "I'll see how everyone is doing before I get back to work," he said quietly to himself.

What will happen next?


	2. Chapter 2 The Accident Occured

As he went downstairs, Penelope and Prentiss were playing Camelot on her laptop in the living room. "Oh beat that and that! Nice sword fighting Penelope!" Prentiss shouted at the screen as Hotch chuckled. He followed his scent of smell into the kitchen where his father was teaching Reid how to cook then walked back to the hallways to see how J.J. and Derek are doing. As Hotch looked inside, as Derek was holding a knife and said, "Derek, what do you think you're doing with that?" "Teaching J.J. a lesson on never turn your back on a person with a knife, dad," he responded. That was when his father unexpectedly tackled Derek to the floor, sitting on him with his wrist behind his back. "I could have knocked you out but I rather save it . . ." Hotch said quietly into his ear as J.J. overheard and replied, "Well why you don't show us?" "That matter A: complicated and B: it's a different form of martial arts." Hotch nodded and said to both of them as he was releasing his oldest son, "Try again. Fail again. Fail better." J.J. nodded and replied, "Samuel Beckket." "Try not. Do or do not." J.J. looked at her brother for some help. "Yoda." Hotch, their father was just headed out the door as he thought of another quote, "The healthy ma does not torture others. Generally, it is the tortured that turn into tortures." Both of them didn't understand when dad left to go back to his room to do some more paper work. They looked at each other as J.J. shrugged, Derek said, "How am I supposed to know?" "It's because you're the older now, so naturally you have more knowledge." "That's because I am older than you and that doesn't mean that I know everything." "All but martial arts and profiling." They laughed.

In the kitchen it was much quieter, peaceful, and at least there wasn't any bickering. Rossi was preparing the clams while Reid was creating the sauce and bread topping. "So what is it like to be back on the team grandfather?" "Well it is unusual not having all of the boxes full of closed cases and files since it's all electronic, what not." They put the clams into the sauce and brought it up to a simmer. "This is almost like chemistry . . ." Rossi said to himself then continued, "Chemical accelerant could mean that your my student." "I totally forgot that I have to go to a college for a lecture today," his grandson complained. "It could also mean chemistry professor." Rossi replied back, "I'd say student. You need self-confidence to lecture in front of a classroom full of 30 college kids. Monists are socially incompetent A: This guy doesn't go on dates, B: doesn't go to parties, C: doesn't feel comfortable in front of groups, and D: of course is a psychopath!" "OF course," answered Reid. Rossi chuckled while shaking his head. "What," Reid questioned to Rossi. "It's nothing grandson," he replied politely.

Once again in the room next door of the Office of Supreme Genius and double agent were still playing Camelot. Prentiss said to her about Sir Kneighf, "Please don't tell me you have a crush on a fictional character." Garcia replied to her, "He's not fictional. He's the after-ego of a real person." "Hmmm, you don't even know anything about him, even if it is . . . him." Garcia sighed, shook her head, and replied to her cousin, "Look, we meet online at specified times that he is never late to. We spend hours adventuring and chatting during which time I have his individual attention and he lavishes me with flattery. When was the last you had a date go that well?" Prentiss smiled and said, "See if he's got a fictional brother." Penelope smiled.

Hotch was heading back to his room to do some more paper work. As he sat down in the chair, he mumbled, "Hopefully I can get this report done by tomorrow, the rent is due now, where did I put the electric bills?" He opened a file cabinet and shuffled through some old papers. Finally he found the bill and paid it off.

Then the electricity went down. Hotch sighed as everyone else were freaking out . . . Penelope said, "No! Someone hacked my computer!" "The electricity is out cuz," her cousin replied. "But I lost the love of my life! How can anyone do this?" Penelope complained. In the kitchen when Rossi and Reid was about to serve clam chowder, Reid burned himself. "Ow! Rossi- I mean grandpa! Ow! I got burned!" "Come over here so we can get some cold water on you," Rossi comforted Reid as he put his hands in the water. In the training room, Derek and J.J. were back to sparring then the lights gone out, Derek tackled his younger sister and pinned her to the floor. "Derek! What are you-" She got cut off when his hand covered her mouth. J.J. stayed quiet as Derek uncovered his hand. "I was just making sure that there's no one is the house lil' sis," he replied as he got up and offered her a hand. J.J. took it as Derek said, "Let's check if everyone is alright." "Okay," she replied.

Will Penelope and Prentiss will be freaking out about the game while Reid's hands are burned. What will happen to the youngest of the family when J.J. and Hotch finds out?


	3. Chapter 3

J.J. and Derek were walking around with flashlights looking for everyone. J.J. went upstairs to make sure dad was alright while Derek was going into the living room with a complaining cousin and younger sister. He walked into the kitchen and saw Reid's hands were burned. "We need to get a paramedic, now! The cold water isn't helping." Rossi yelled to his oldest grandson. Derek picked up his cell and called 911 to get the paramedics. They came quickly to the house and took a look at Reid's hands. When J.J. heard about her younger brother, she ran downstairs to see if he was going to be okay. "Spence, what happened?" She questioned as there grandfather replied to his granddaughter, "He burned himself when the power went out; he was helping me in the kitchen." Rossi looked back at Reid who was getting looked at. "I'm afraid we have to get him to a hospital. Second degree burns," the medic said as he escorted Reid into the ambulance. "I'll go!" J.J. volunteered quickly as she also got into the ambulance. They drove off as Hotch said, "She should have asked permission first from me." "Cut her some slack Hotch, besides she is the best to keep her brother company," his father answered. "Dad, why do you always-" "It's because I know everything." He smiled. "Come on, let's fix the electricity box."

As they walked inside, Derek found a complaining Penelope as Prentiss looked at him and mouthed "Help me calm her down". He nodded his head and scared her. Penelope screamed as Derek covered her mouth. "Cousin, calm down it's me sweetie. Look, I know that you're flipped out . . . " Prentiss sighed as she clicked the flashlight on and walked into the kitchen. She saw no one when she entered then Prentiss heard dads and grandpas footsteps. "Oh it's only you two," she gasped as both of them walked by being silent. "Was it something that I said? Hello?" She never got a response.

Meanwhile in the ambulance, Reid was getting his hands in ice water as J.J. was walking to him about the times where they had great fun including funny moments on the cases. "Remember that one time where you got sprayed by milk?" "That's because sis it was in your mouth." "You're the one who made me laugh so it's not my fault, " Reid replied "It is for getting milk on me," shouted J.J. as the person in the van had to restrain her and put her under a coma with sleeping gas. "She'll be fine," he said to Reid. "She's only my big sister, J.J.!" Reid complained as he reached over to touch her warm hand.

At the hospital they carried Reid into the ER because of shock. He stayed in an operating room for hours then finally he got out. While during that time, J.J. was waking up from the sleeping gas in the lobby chair. "Where's Reid?" She got up and looked around. "Reid?" The people at the front desk said, "He just out of the operating room Ms." "What room number?" "1035," he responded. "Thank you," she replied as she ran towards the room to find Reid. Reid was all wired up to a machine as J.J. went into the room. "Sister…." "Brother…" She ran to his side of the bed and grabbed hold of his hand. He smiled as his older sister smiled back.

What will happen to him next?


	4. Chapter 4

Back at the house, Hotch and Rossi were just finished fixing the electricity box as the power went back on. Prentiss didn't realize that her flashlight is still on as she walked into the living room. "Whoa, dude! Turn that thing off, the power is back on," Derek said to his younger sister. "Dude, chill out," Penelope yelled at her cousin. "You better not give me that attitude The Oracle Whiz of Technology." His index finger touched her nose as she chuckled. Prentiss rolled her eyes from all of the drama and walked out of the room to go upstairs into her room. Hotch and Rossi went back inside the house and went into the kitchen where they put the clam chowder into bowls. "Prentiss, Derek, Penelope, get your breakfast," called out Hotch as Rossi went into the living room carrying his bowl of soup. Derek and Penelope went to get his soup as Prentiss said, "I'm not hungry." "Prentiss come down there this instant," Hotch growled. As she went down the stairs and stopped in front of her father he scolded towards her, "Even though you don't feel hungry sit with us anyway. Is that understood?" "Yes father," Prentiss responded as she got her soup and went into her chair in the living room, just sat there. Everybody ate.

Meanwhile at the hospital, Reid and JJ were getting their breakfast- sandwiches and Jell-O. "Well this is not the breakfast that I intended but it is something," mumbled J.J. as Reid complained, "I prefer that delicious clam chowder that is waiting for me at home." "Now Reid, A: you're at the hospital, B: they probably don't have clam chowder here, C: you just can't call them and-" "Good idea sis'!" He picked up the phone that was near his bed and called home. The phone rang at home as Hotch picked it up. "Hello?" "It's Reid dad. I wondered if you could bring some of that clam chowder to the hospital for me, please." Hotch sighed and whispered to him," don't you have some food at the hospital?" "It is only sandwiches and Jell-O dad," complained Reid. "You'll survive son, I'll see you later, love you."

He didn't up and on the other side of the line; J.J. just stared at her brother. "So what happened?" asked J.J. He mumbled "Dad won't bring us any clam chowder and said that you will survive even though they only serve Jell-O and turkey sandwiches." "Brother, don't worry! I think they will let you out soon." "When, now, later, when?" "How am I supposed to know? I'm only a young woman who works for the BAU as the media person. I don't know everything like you do kid." "Don't call me a kid lil' sis!" Reid shouted. "Oh yeah…." J.J. said then smiled evil. They got on to bickering. Hotch sighed then hung up the phone. "Those two…" he said quietly to himself.

In the house Derek questioned, "Who was that?" "Reid and J.J. fighting about not being a kid and a genius and so forth." "I want to join! Come on Prentiss! I totally have to record this moment of fame," Penelope said to her cousin. "Now that will be interesting! What are we waiting for? Let's go," Prentiss said happily then her father gave them a glare. "After you eat then you may go." "Alright!" the computer whiz said as she finished up her soup. Prentiss ate then the both of them said to Rossi ad Hotch, "Now may we go now? Please?" "Fine now you may go." Hotch mumbled. "Yes!" Penelope and Prentiss shouted as they ran for the car. When they got there they realized both of them don't know how to drive. "Umm Derek can you um you know drive the um car?" Prentiss said to him nervously losing her words. "Sure!" he yelled then ran outside and hopped into the front seat. Penelope sat with him as Prentiss took the back seat all to herself. "Let's go and break up the fight! Yeah!" "Who's got the video camera?" Penelope said as Derek started driving. "I do! OH I just can't wait until they see our faces that there bickering," Prentiss squeaked. "I hope at least one of them stops bick- na it will be fun. What am I saying?" Derek said to himself. "This is going to be Family Feud!" Penelope said to the group. "I hope there are not any serial killers." "Why is that?" asked Derek and Prentiss as their cousin responded, "Well I have blonde hair I mean HELLO! They might kill me!" "J.J. has blonde hair," Prentiss realized. Derek shouted, "If they hurt any of you there going to be dead for all I care!" "Does that include Reid?" Derek gave the evil glare at Prentiss. "Never mind," she mumbled quietly.


	5. Chapter 5

Well, continuing their drive, Emily got the video camera all set up ready to go, Penelope was talking to herself out loud, while Derek arrived at the hospital. "Were here," said Derek and Prentiss got out of the vehicle ran into the hospital, asked where Dr. Spencer Reid was, then waited outside of the room for Derek and Penelope. They asked the same thing as Prentiss and followed to the room. All three of them could hear Reid and J.J. fighting. "Let's go in," Derek said to them as Prentiss got the tape rolling. "Stop calling me a kid sis!" yelled Reid as J.J. replied, "Then what about pretty boy, hmm?" That was when Derek opened the door as Prentiss was filming every little detail. "Hey! I am the only one who calls Reid "pretty boy" J.J.!" Derek told his younger sister. "Derek does not get into this! This is between my brother and me only and yes, I know that you create the name first but who cares!" J.J. replied. Prentiss said, "Can't wait until dad sees this!" "Why is that Emily?" questioned Reid then said to J.J. "I will never yield!" "Then what about if I told you that there is a case about a wife got murdered from a new Zodiac killer new motive?" Penelope smirked at Reid. "W-what? There's a new Zodiac killer with a brand new motive?" Reid said in shock. Derek smiled then hit the back of Reid's head lightly and said to him, "No pretty boy, it is a fake. We just wanted to see your reaction to see if you would fall for it and you did." Penelope and Prentiss giggled behind the camera while J.J. stared at a disappointed Spencer Reid. Penelope went quietly behind Reid and scared him. As he got scared he hurt his hand that was already injured by hitting underneath the table.

"Reid, are you alright?" asked J.J. as Penelope said, "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to -" "It's alright cuz. I'll manage. I hope nothing is broken," mumbled Reid.

Authors note: Sorry that this chapter is short. I'll make the next one longer.


End file.
